I told Jeremy yesterday I could feel depression setting in.
His response?
“Let’s try to avoid
that at all cost.”
Thanks, babe.
The truth is, I can’t blame him for wanting to avoid it.
We’ve been down that road before, him and I. More than once. More than twice,
if I’m being honest. I’m prone to what I call “The Slump”
It’s not pretty. Not for me. Not for him. Not for him and I.
It would be unfair to say that I’m responsible for the emotional well being of
my whole family but, the truth is, when I’m in a slump, it’s super contagious.
And like the good Dr. (Seuss) says…
“You’ll come down from
the Lurch
with an unpleasant
bump.
And the chances are,
then,
That you’ll be in a
Slump.
And when you’re in a
Slump,
You’re not in for much
fun.
Un-Slumping yourself
is not easily done.”
Maybe it’s because my whole house has been sick for weeks.
Maybe it’s because I haven’t written anything. Maybe it’s because I’m pregnant
and my hormones are making me nutso. Maybe it’s because I have a lingering
cough and I pee my pants more than my potty training three year old. Maybe it’s
because everyone else has been able to sleep off their sickness and I haven’t. Between
the cough and the pregnancy and the being the Mom, I haven’t really slept in
weeks. Maybe it’s because I secretly want to kick them all in the throat while
they’re sleeping because I’m so overcome with jealousy and exhaustion and I
feel guilty about that. Maybe it’s because I have cabin fever and I’m ready to
play outside in the sunshine. Maybe it’s all of the above.
It doesn’t matter. A slump is a slump no matter the reason.
Today, I decided I’d do a few things to try and un-slump
myself. I figured if none of them worked, I’d be no worse off than when I woke
up this morning.
Step 1. Take a shower.
I know, this one sounds like a no brainer but, trust me,
some days it’s the hardest thing to bring myself to do. Especially when I’m in
Slump Mode.
Step 2. Cry.
Yep. Cry. Right there in the bathroom. In my towel. In front
of Jeremy. Cry and cry and cry until I was done crying. Why? Because it’s
impossible to no longer feel like I need to cry until I just…cry.
Step 3. Music and eye liner.
The eye liner just helps me feel more human. Being off work
and sick and pregnant and locked in the house has made eye liner all but unnecessary
but, sometimes, you just gotta do some make-up therapy.
The play list while I applied said eye liner sounded like
this. If you don’t know these songs, look ‘em up. They’re tried and true, good
for the soul.
Step 4. Drive and Sing
On the freeway. All alone. No particular destination.
(Although I did end up at Babies R Us, ‘Ooh-ing’ and ‘Aah-ing’ over little tiny
outfits with pink ruffles on the butt.) I sang Christina Aguilera and Blake
Shelton’s duet “Just a fool” over and over again, really, really loud. (and out of key, I’m positive.)
Step 5. Starbucks
Don’t look at me like that. I know I’m pregnant. I know
espresso is bad for me. You know what? So is The Slump and sometimes you gotta
do what you gotta do!
Step 6. Write this blog.
My BF Megan over at AbsoluteMommy says you should write
something every day, even if it’s crap. I’m always jealous of her ability to
put words on paper even when it seems like the rest of her world is falling
apart. She takes the time for herself and her writing damn near every day. This
isn’t a great and wonderful piece of writing but there is something about
putting fingers to keyboard and words on paper that makes The Slump not seem so
bad.
It may just be the caffeine talking, but I feel a lot less
Slumped already.
Happy Friday, Friends.
go. do. be.
