Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Night No One Lost A Head

One of tonight’s conversations started like this…

Brodie:MOOOOMMMMYYYYY!!!!! I want my head back!!!! Bubba took my head!!!!!

Me: Logan, did you take your brother’s head?

Logan: (Evil Laugh) YES! And it’s MINE!

Brodie: NO! It’s MINE!Give me my heaaaddddd baacccckkkk!!!

And he’s stomping his feet and almost crying.

I understood that Loganhadn’t actually taken Brodie’s head. And Loganknew he didn’t actually take Brodie’s head. And I’m pretty sure thatBrodie understood that his brother didn’t actually take his head.

I say pretty sure because at one point, Brodie has this lookin his eyes like, “Mom, bubba took my head. Why aren’t you doing more aboutthis? This is an intense and very serious situation. Please, for the love ofall things candy and ice cream, please make him give me my head back…please.”

I sat there for a minute, looking at them. They were lookingat me too, trying to decide how this was going to play out. I could tell by thelook in Logan’s eyes that he was thinking, “I have nothing more in the world I’drather do right now than torture the crap out of my brother. It’s an invisiblehead, mom. I’m trying to have fun at his expense and he’s being unreasonable.Please don’t yell at me and ruin the game.”

I didn’t want to ruin the game.

There are times when Loganis mean to Brodie because he is just in a bad mood. I don’t tolerate it. I domy very best, on an almost daily basis, to try and teach him that we don’t talkto people like that, treat people like that, that we can’t be mean to the oneswe love just because we’re in a bad mood. This wasn’t one of those times,though. He wasn’t in a bad mood. He wasn’t really being mean. He was trying toplay. He’s also the big brother and sometimes playing includes making hislittle brother scream.

I didn’t want to ruin the game. I didn’t want to yell. Ididn’t want to lose my cool. So, I decided to play.

Me: Logan, give your brother his head back.

Logan: (After a moment’s hesitation where herealizes I’m going to let him play) No! (Evil laugh)

And he threw the invisible head into the yard.

Me: Oh. My. God.You’ve got to be kidding me. Did you just throw your little brother’s head inthe yard? That’s it. You’re gonna get it.

And I stood up, picked him up, took him into the yard,tackled him to the ground, and tickled him until he couldn’t breathe.

Logan: Mom! I’m gonna pee my pants! Let me up!

Me: Are you going togo get the head? Are you going to give your brother his head back?

Logan: YES! Let me up!

While Brodie knew I wasn’t actually punishing his brother, Ithink he still felt like he was getting justice. It’s torture to get tickledlike that. I’m sure he remembered when I did it to him this morning when herefused to give me a kiss.

I think he also understood by this point that bubba didn’tactually take his head.

Logan did getup, he did go get the head, and he did give it back to his brother. He also lethim get about 20 feet away before he took it again. I did the only reasonablething I could think to do. I intervened.

For real this time.

Me: Logan, give me your brother’s head.

Logan: (Doing a little dance) My head, my head,nah nah nah nah nah…

I grabbed the head, ran over to Brodie and put it back onreally quick.

Me: There you go baby.I got your head back. I’ll lock it in place so Bubba can’t get it again.

Brodie looked up at me, blinked his lashes over histoo-pretty-for-words-eyes and nodded his head as to say, “Oh, thank you mommy.Thank you for getting my head back.” And he rubbed the top of my shoulder whileI fastened on his fake head.

Brodie doesn’t do that bit very often. He’s usually the onetorturing his brother and by no means does he ask for intervention with much.He’s Mr. Independent, for sure. But, just like Logantaking on the role of Evil Villain, Brodie accepted his role as citizen indistress for just a minute so I could play super hero. He rarely lets me dothat. I wanted to make him proud.

Logan and I went back and fourth for awhile over the head.He unlocked the lock with a specially made key and took it back. I put somesort of protective shield over it so it would be secure and he figured out thecode. I didn’t know there was a code but, since he figured it out, I had topretend like I already knew. After we ran out of ways to unlock and steal it, unlockand steal it back, our conversation got kind of ridiculous and ended upsounding something like a conversation out of one of our favorite movies…

[after trapping Metro Man in the observatory, Megamind comes up on aprojector]

 Over here, old friend! In case you've noticed, you'vefallen right into my trap.
Metro Man:
You can't trap justice. It's an idea, a belief!
But, even the most heartfelt belief can be corroded over time.
Metro Man:
Justice is a non-corrosive metal.
But metals can be melted by the heat of revange!
Metro Man:
It's 'revenge', and it's best served cold!
But it can be easily reheated in the microwave of evil!
Metro Man
: Well, I think your warranty's about to expire!
Maybe I got an extended warranty!
Metro Man:
Warranties are invalid if you don't used the card for itsintended purpose!
Roxanne Ritchie:
[exasperated] Uuhh! Girls, girls, you're bothpretty! Can I go home now!
Of course you can. That is if Metro Man can withstand the fullconcentrated power of the sun! FIRE!
[nothing happens and Metro Man just looks at Megamind]

We didn’t get allof the words right but, c’mon. Breaking out into a spontaneous reenactment of amovie with my almost 6 year old? Where we kinda quoted Will Ferrell and BradPitt? Seriously? How awesome is that?

Eventually, likeRoxanne Ritchie, Brodie got tired of listening to us. While we were distracted,he grabbed the head from his brother and ran off with it. On his way to hisbedroom to bunker down and defend his head, I called him to dinner and the gamewas over.

Everyone won.

Logan got to play. Brodie got his head back. Igot to be the super hero and have a moment with my kids where the tears, footstomps and interventions were only make believe. No one really got hurt. No onereally got in trouble. No one lost a head.

Not even mamma. 

 Logan as MegaMind a few weeks ago while wasting time at Auntie's house. =)